Recession Dividends

So many hardworking Americans have caught the shaft in these times of economic crisis. Optimism can be a scarce commodity. Sometimes it takes smiling on another's misfortune to see the proverbial diamond-in-the-rough. The sufferer of this calamity, of course, is not the Joe Sixpack who just got let go from a job he worked for the last 12 years. No, it's the CEO who let him and his friends go, so as not to be forced to sell a second beach house. Or possibly the target is a giant, corporate, purveyor of shit whose product transcends good taste. (That sentence was a little cryptic. Just hold on.) Wouldn't it be great if they went down with everyone else, maybe even getting dealt a special share-hold ending blow?

Without any further ado, I present to you the bankruptcy of Muzak, the company responsible for creating the style of music known by the same name. I don''t take elevators often, but enough to get acquainted with the instrumental indifference which flows from the speakers of these vertically shifting compartments. It is nice to think that the begetters of perpetual musical boredom will pay for their sins. But it is not why I rejoice.

Muzak was also responsible for "creating playlists for use in retail stores." If you have ever worked in a mall, you know my pain and reason for jubilation. Eight hours a day, five days week, sonic torment comes by way of a never ending, almost never changing, playlist of Top 40 artists. And the "playlist" is not deep; James Blunt and Jason Mraz offend multiple times on any given shift. Consider the fact that many stores within malls draw from the same playlist, and you have to pose the question which also happens to be the title of Bad Religion's first full-length album: "How could Hell be any worse?"

But now there is redemption. Magnificent redemption. So don't curse the economic recession, entirely. Wait for the next giant to fall.